In the great words of Beyonce, “girls, we run this…Scottsdale” (Okay, maybe those weren’t her exact words, but trust me, they apply). Welcome, my adventurous ladies, to this rambunctiously funny guide to fun things to do in Arizona’s stylish city, Scottsdale.
Note to gentlemen viewing:
Sorry gents, this one’s for the ladies. But Scottsdale is beautiful, it’s not far from the Giants spring training facility (hint!), so grab a beer, play toys with the oranges and leave the women to it. Unless you are Bill Gates and looking for a wife, then DM us!
Subheading: Shopping-Up Such Perfect Havoc, Even Credit Cards Cry For Mercy!
Scottsdale is a paradise disguised as a shopping destination. Oh, you wondered what adorned those fabulous women at the Grammy’s? Visit Scottsdale Fashion Square Mall and you might as well rise to Instagram model status. Warning though, your credit card might have a meltdown from the fabulous clothes shops, delightful tchotchke stores, and gorgeous boutique delights that call this place home.
“It was a shopping spree that even Paris Hilton would gawk at.” – Your credit card, probably.
Subheading: Unleash Your Inner Cowgirl, No Horse or Skills Required!
Did you know that Scottsdale is dubbed “The West’s Most Western Town”? It’s high time (No, not that kind of high! That comes later… maybe) you unleashed your inner cowgirl. Visit Old Town Scottsdale with its Wild West kitsch!
Lasso up your girlfriends, because you’re going boot-scootin’ at the Rusty Spur Saloon. It’s okay if you can’t dance. Two beers in and everyone’s the lovechild of Shakira and John Travolta. Besides, it’s a fun place to party (we hear cowboys like to bust a move too). So, tuck in that shirt, let that cowboy hat tilt precariously, and step into the wild, wild west.
Subheading: Panthers Ain’t Got Nothing On You at The Scottsdale Art Walk
How about appreciating some art like the racy, adventurous women you are? “Me, cultured?” Yes, darling, you! Walk along Scottsdale’s arts district any Thursday evening for the “Scottsdale ArtWalk”.
It’s not the Louvre, but has less pretentious, more fun-smelling art (Disclaimer: don’t sniff the art). Let’s all pretend to understand the profound sophistication of it, whilst also giggling in secret at frames that look like a dog’s morning business. Remember, it’s painfully chic to declare everything ‘avant-garde’ while scratching your head in confusion.
Subheading: Tequila Tasting, Because What’s a Girls’ Trip Without Some Kicking and Screaming… I Mean… Drink Sampling?
Take a visit to the speakeasies of Scottsdale for some adult beverage merriment. From the olive-infused margaritas at Blue Clover Distillery to the spicy Don Julio at The Second Story Liquor Bar, let’s say it’s educational testing out some of the finest spirits Scottsdale has to offer. Move over, Sam Elliot, there are new Whiskey-drinking, Tequila-tasting women in town. And oh, did we mention it’s a fun place to party?
Hangovers warning: Trust no lady who says the 8th Tequila shot is a good idea!
Now, ladies, don’t forget to weave these locations into your Instagram stories full of giggles, shopping bags and tequila shots. Remember, if it doesn’t look like you’re constantly sipping cocktails while being utterly fabulous, you’re not doing the Scottsdale trip properly.
So gear up peeps, and let’s paint the town red, or pink, or whatever the heck color you fancy. Because in the end, who needs men when you’ve got Scottsdale? It’s not far from the Giants spring training facility, world-class shopping, fabulous food, and tequila. Brace yourselves ladies, ‘cause here’s to the nights that turned into mornings with the friends that turned into family.
Now, have you spotted Bill Gates yet?